Xeemarmar

What is written from the heart, touches the heart!


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The New Year; 1436

There is happiness yet grief;
Health yet pain;
Blessings yet loss… A loss an immeasurable LOSS…

I wonder, I really wonder what it would be like a year to start and Ashara Mubaraka to initiate without Burhanuddin Maula RA? Nobody ever thought in their wildest of dreams that Ashara 1436 will be held without Maula Burhanuddin RA. We lived in a world where Life could only be synonymous to the presence of Burhanuddin RA. To contemplate a world without Maula RA is still to date a painfully indigestable fact…

So to think that today Maula RA will not recite the Shahadat of Hussain AS to us is in indeed a heart wrenching thought…

However, fact it is that Maula RA will recite the shahadat to us, yes he will; we shall listen to Him RA through Maula Aali Qadr Muffadal Saifuddin TUS and the mourning and loss this year, the glimpse of the day of judgement that Maula Aali Qadr TUS will reflect will be so much more painful, so much clearer; for we shall see Burhanuddin Maula RA in Aali Qadr Maula RA and remind ourselves of the glorious years of Maula RA spent in the ghum of Hussain AS…
….. every word of Maula RA, every action, every tear and every salami of Maula will be missed yet with the thought that the Maula TUS in front of us is Burhanuddin himself offering us solace of His absence and bestowing us with His RA glorious words and wisdom.

Today the Pehli Raat of the year 1436 we pray to Allah to bless our Maula Mohammad Burhanuddin RA with the highest, highest and the best merits in Jannat ul Firdous and bestow a long and healthy life to Maula Aali Qadr till the time the world keeps on witnessing a year after another! AMEEN!

ALAIKAS SALATO ALAIKAS SALAAM!
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Amate Syedna TUS,
Xeynab


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For my princess…

Very proudly I would call myself an emotional valiant and take pride in my ability to suppress emotions, while appearing unmoved. An art I had to work on for an emotional fool I was and still am…

However there are rare moments when the strict structure in me crumbles and I give away what I feel. That is exactly what happened when I as irritably picked up my mom’s call at a time when I am usually ‘life-ing’ away the usual.

Before I could greet in a usual edgy monotone of mine, my mom blurted in the ear-piece “Congratulations! You’ve become an aunt of  a beautiful little girl!” I was exhilerated; and that is an understatment…

At that very instant I realized that although that was predictable and I usually easily predict my behavior in various circumstances but this time all my predictions failed…

My eyes glistened with tears and my smile was an ear to ear one. The happiness was harmonious and radiating in  me nside/out. It was a very rare moment…

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My princess

I remember being bonded unconsciously with Zahra. Although we are galaxies apart with respect to personalities and definite candidates as rivals for the World War 3 but surprisingly the steel in me would break down with a single tear in her eye. I would hear the crack clear in me…  

So today when I have become an aunt, I feel such endearment for my child which is becoming harder to express by the minute. Although I believe more in the bond of love without having anything to do with blood, but I guess this love radiating in me for my princess is inevitable…

For they say and I guess they must be right; “Blood is thicker than water”

Indeed…

Welcome to the world my little girl; Ali Asghar definitely has competition now!

& Yes; You have one hell of an aunt ;)
Love,
Xeynab Khala


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My treasures

I was just staring, assessing, contemplating in my own way; of what lay ahead. I had seen that bouquet of flowers on the zarih of Imam Hussain AS. However unlike others who were trying to get their hands on every branch of the flowers, I restrained myself and for a moment just thought what could be done to get some barakat of these white roses. Meanwhile a single petal fell on the floor of the haram and without a thought I instantly leapt to grab it. I couldnt believe my victory as I stared at the single petal in my hand from the zarih of Hussain AS.

I carefully wrapped it in my green handkerchief that I always keep with myself which Burhanuddin Maula RA gifted to me back in 2004.

The petal I stared in awe and wonder for my fortune. I mixed it with my collection of a few petals (now left) from the turbat of Burhanuddin Maula RA that I brought with me back in February.

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THE PETAL

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Petal mixed

Today however I took out The Petal and some of the petals of Maula RA turbat and kept them in a nice glass box. I feared I might accidently eat it or Ali Asghar might eat it hence I wanted to keep it safe…

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Safe

I dont know what to say or what to feel. This was a gift never asked for, thought or even imagined.

Maula TUS says;

Hussain tou Hussain che!
Burhanuddin tu Burhanuddin che!

Amate Syedna TUS,
Xeynab


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Karbala Moallah, 1435

We reached Karbala;

Karbala-the land where the greatest sacrifice was made by mankind ever known.

Karbala-the land where not only man but even angels aspire to reach to pay homage to the martyred son of Ali AS was to my fortune my destination today.

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When we reached Karbala; there was as a sea of people everywhere. People from all ages, new born to the eldest age possible could be seen as far as the sight could go. Indeed only immense fortune could be the reason for us bringing here today. People would be seen praying, eating and even sleeping outside the haram of Hussain AS and the path that connected Imam Hussain AS to the haram of Abbas Alamdar AS.

Indeed heartening was to see people on wheel chairs, old, haggard, literally tortured with age and disease; these people  struggling their way to the haram shareef of the grandson of Mohammad SA; Hussain AS.

Blind men and women seeked their way to this destination, crippled and handicapped walked all the way here to this land; the land of the martyr of all martyrs.The delight on the face of a toothless haggard lady with an old weak man was beautiful when she shared her feelings with me with a shaky tearful voice, “I cant believe I am going to see the haram of Hussain AS with my eyes, first time in my life…”

With a lump in my throat, the only think I could think of was thankfulness… thankfulness to Allah for my age, thankfulness for the teachings and prayers of Burhanuddin Maula RA and thankfulness for teaching us everything about Hussain AS.

I stand here today knowing that Allah gifted me with health, a privilege for my attendance on this land and the fact that He blessed me with a chance to visit again this holy land was indeed an envious honor; that I hold today…

Labbaik Ya Hussain AS!

May Allah keep the Dai of Hussain Maula Aali Qadr Mufaddal Saifuddin TUS in health and prosperity till the day the matam of Hussain continues to exist. Ameen.

Amate Syedna TUS,
Xeynab


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Eid ul Adha-Najaf e Ashraf; 1435

11th Zilhaj ut il Haram
(Due to connectivity issues in Baghdad, the post couldnt be uploaded on the given dates)

Eid ul Adha, the Eid of sacrifice celebrated every year after Hajj is indeed a hard earned ritual today in the Islamic world. The sight outside, inside and wherever the eye could reach around the haram of Ali AS seems similar to the mina camp. People are in lines compressed and confined sleeping on the floor filling every part, nook and corner of the surroundings of the haram shareef of Maulana Ali AS. The scenario indeed today bears great resemblance.

I prayed Hajj back in 2010 and in many ways I feel I did the same this year. Less is there to wonder for the dignified status of Ali AS in this world and all the worlds of Allah that ever existed and ever will exist is immeasurable.

To our fortune we prayed our Eid namaz in Masjid e Aazam, Kufa where again the splendor of Ali AS is evident. Every tile and every marble used, the mehrab and all architecture is a true reflection of the Fatimid Dawat. Indeed and definitely the Masjid resonates with the ever fresh fragance of memories of the 52nd Dai; Syedna Mohammad Burhanuddin RA and every effort He RA made for the rennovation of this extremely important artefact of the Muslim heritage.

Who says Burhanuddin RA left? The presence of Maula RA is everywhere, spread and celebrated around the world. The vision of the heart knows no barriers and hence with that vision we practically see Maula RA everywhere.

From the first time I entered the haram till the last ziarat, to even the last look, the presence of Burhanuddin Maula RA was  felt everywhere. Even in us, the way we recite, the art of prayer, the significance of these Maqamaat Muqadasaat are all blessings of the teachings of our spiritual Father; Syedna Mohammad Burhanuddin RA.

With the dua that May Allah bestow Maula Aali Qadr TUS who is the true vision and reflection of Burhanuddin Maula RA, a long and healthy life till the final day of existance (Ameen), we left from Najaf e Ashraf for Karbala Moallah.

Amate Syedna TUS,
Xeynab


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Yaum-e-Arafa, Najaf e Ashraf 1435

(Due to connectivity issues in Baghdad, the post couldnt be uploaded on the given dates)

Time: 6:15 am
Day: 9th Zilhaj at ul Haram, Yaum e Arafa
Najaf-e-Ashraf

My presence here on this day, in this place at this time praying salams, madeh and munqabats near the zarih mubarak of Maulana Ali AS; the Maula whose name only is sufficient to solve all problems, heal all miseries and grant all wishes; seems a vivid reality, an aspired thought and definitely a wishful dream today…

Today the day of Arafa, the day of Hashr, the day when Allah promises his blessings and grace to all Hujaj at Arafat, is indeed a day that holds great significance in the Islamic calendar.

Hence today the blessings of Allah are being showered ceaselessly on this land, definitely on this land where the beloved of Rasul Allah SA rests. Today the scenario at Najaf e Ashraf is just different. The masses of people that have come from all corners of the world to Najaf keeps multiplying every hour.

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Today; Friday the day of Arafat also reminds us of that Friday, indeed the day of Hashr when we, the momineen lost our Beloved Maula Burhanuddin RA this year. Today as I sit and recite the first salam in the haram shareef, inevitable is the reality of the vision of the 52nd Dai ul Mutlaq Syedna Mohammad Burhanuddin RA lying crystal clear in front of me.

Today Maula RA rests in Raudhat Tahera in Khak E Shifa, while His presence is not only emotionally felt here but is actually present on the Zarih Mubarak, where the name of Aqa Tahir Saifuddin Maula RA is inscribed in gold.

The work of rubies, the inscription of ‘Bismillah i Rehman ir Raheem’ and the zarih of gold and silver all reflect the hasanaats of the duat mutlaqeen. Such was and will always remain the presence of the Duat Mutlaqeen of Maulana Ali AS with the ta qayamat zikr and matam of ALI AS.

Amate Syedna TUS,
Xeynab


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Najaf e Ashraf 1435

On the last day i.e. wada ziyarat in Raudhat Tahera this year, in the month of Rabi ul Akhar, helpless and unable to move from the turbat of Burhanuddin Maula RA, a train of thought and a hurricane of emotions swept through me while I thought “Where would I go from here?”, “What to do now?”, “Cant believe will be miles away from this land, unable to encapsulate in me the scent of this holy destination, leaving my all behind, every part of my heart and soul…”

Thinking there, drained, heart-broken no actually shattered I asked myself again now what, and only one thought came to me, and prayed there and then, “Call me again Maula, call me again and again…” with bags full of petals collected from the turbats I was greedy and invested on every opportunity to get everything I could for the barakaats to last me while I passed away these seemingly ceaseless moments of this life…

Standing there I prayed that after this visit there is no where on earth I have the courage to go but the land where ALI AS rests. I thought only YOU Mushkil Kusha of the world and all worlds could heal this soul which is torn apart by the sands of time.
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I was fortunate, I was heard. Its been six months now and I am enroute today to Najaf e Ashraf. I am fortunate as I undertake this journey towards the Muqaddas Maqamat of Karbala Moallah and Najaf e Ashraf.

Words seem to defy my ability to express my gratitude for my wish that is being fulfilled. Thankyou Lord ! Thankyou for blessing my fate which is scarred with limitless sins and wrongdoings. You Allah bless me more and much more than I deserve.

Lakho jaan se fida thaye jao;
Lakho shuker na sajda bajao

Amate Syedna TUS
Xeynab

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