One of my wisest friends once when she was going through some back issues said to me, “It’s okay when I’m moving. It’s when I stop that I can feel the pain.”
Grief is like that too. When the clock’s moving fast it agrees to lie low like a pet dragon in a cave waiting patiently for a chance to come out. It waits as you go about life and it’s hurried moments; it lurks when you are occupied with the thousand things you want to do or have to do.
And then, it’s when you stop moving and rushing, that it then rears it’s head.
And in those moments, when the lights are switched off and your head sinks into the pillow or the weekend comes as a seeming respite and you have a moment to spare and the clock’s not rushing as it normally would… it is then that grief will come. Disguised in the cloak woven of memories which come like flashes of lightening sequinned into its garment.
And what does one do? One allows it to make its way, just like a stream pushing it’s way ahead to merge into the river and finally fall forth into the salty sea. One allows it to take over. And when one is spent, sleep or routine will fall into place again. And that is a blessing.
Amate Syedna TUS
Maryam
Xeemarmar 
Grief can only be understood by someone who has felt it very nearly, for a someone whom you never thought would leave you. After some time when tears are about to be shed, just a shake towards reality bounces you back to see what other smiling blessings Allah has bestowed you with and that is life.
I was thinking about you also when i posted this
What beautiful picturisation.. I lived the line “sequined into the garment”.. And what apt description for grief.. A major reason why workaholics don’t stop.